A hundred and seventeen hours
by cjjjj
Summary: Begins in season 2, Preston Burke gets shot multiple times. Derek operates on him. Christina deals with feelings of inadequacy. Mostly BANG some MERDER
1. Chapter 1

His vision faded in and out. He tried to stand but collapsed back on the ground. He could feel his heart pounding against the walls of his chest.

All he could remember was that he had to do something… something really important. He saw Dr. Bailey and smiled at her from the ground.

But she had an expression of terror on her face, one he had rarely seen. Slowly he moved one hand to his chest and felt the warmth of his blood oozing from the bullet holes. It didn't make sense.

Once again he tried to stand, despite Dr. Bailey feverishly telling him to stay on the ground. He begun convulsing on the ground. Dr. Bailey now had both hands pressed against his chest.

Bailey began talking to him in a controlled calm voice to mask her fear as she always did with patients in really bad shape. He sensed it and for the first time he was terrified.

She said, "Preston you stay with me, you hear me. I'll have someone call your parents and they'll be waiting for you after surgery, you hear me. Preston, Preston, LOOK AT ME."

Then she turned to one of the nurses that was putting him on a rolling bed and said "Page Dr. Yang and call Dr. Burke's parents and tell them to come immediately." The nurse nodded and ran off.

He felt like his chest had caught fire and he screamed for the first time since he was maybe seven years old. He pushed at the interns hands who tried to prepare him for surgery.

And then, among all the vaguely familiar interns he saw Christina. He tried to smile at her but ended up coughing blood. She ran out of the room and closed the door standing behind it. He felt like he might as well just die in that moment, but he knew he still had something important to do, though he couldn't quite remember it.

Then he saw Dr. Shepherd standing over him. Derek said, "Preston I'm going to put you under for a little while, alright?"

"You're not a heart surgeon" he tried to say but choked on his words. Still, Derek nodded as if he understood.

Then, he began to drift into unconsciousness. He heard Derek say "administer a pint of blood" in the distance and then nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

When he woke up he finally remembered completely. He sat up abruptly, despite the searing pain in his arm and chest and saw George.

"Denny Duquette?" he asked.

George smiled in the earnest genuine way that only he could and said " He got the heart. He's doing great. Izzy's estatic."

Preston smiled, relieved, and fell back into the bed. He desperately wanted to know where and what Christina was doing but he needed to preserve his dignity and indifference... even to George.

George said, "Christina has been here every night you know. She even opted out of a couple of really neat surgeries to visit you."

A rush of emotions overcame him and he said, trying to sound composed, "Then where is she now?".

"As soon as you started to wake up, she had to check up on one of her patients", George replied.

Preston laughed lightly reaching for his glasses on the table beside him with his good arm. "That's Christina alright. You said she was here every night?"

"That's right" said Dr. Webber walking in the door " You've been out for quite some time, Preston. A hundred and seventeen hours to be precise". He walked over awkwardly and bent down to hug Preston.

Preston was touched by the Chief's rare gesture of affection for him but equally awkward as he used one arm to weakly hug the Chief.

"Well then" Webber said, "try and stay out of the OR for a while. We had a neurosurgeon putting stitches in your heart. And don't be too fast getting back up on your feet. ".

And then he walked out of the room. After walking a short distance he leaned against the wall. Smiling, he felt tears fill his eyes. He was in his sixties. He had a lousy marriage and no children. Preston had felt like his son, since he'd arrived. An extremely serious and eager young intern. Compassionate towards patients but detached and composed. Swift in a medical emergency and always with a cool head.

Webber saw Christina pacing in the hallway further down. He approached her and said "Preston woke up a couple minutes ago" even though he knew she was aware of this. Christina looked at him distraught. He turned and walked to his office.

Christina heard a voice say, " He wants to see you". It was George accompanied by a radiant Izzy.

Where was Meredith? Meredith would tell her what to do. She strode out of the hospital even though it was in the middle of her shift.

She did something completely out of character and drove to the super market. She bought salmon, a roll of bread, and lettuce. She drove back to her and Preston's apartment and begun preparing dinner. She pulled out a cooking book and followed the directions exactly, precisely.

When she tasted the fish, she was disappointed. It was a good meal, but not a Preston good meal. Still, she packed up the dinner and brought it to the hospital. Then, she intercepted the nurse taking food to Preston's room and switched the meals.

It was an "I love you and an I'm sorry" on a plate. She could change for him she thought. She could be neat for him and wear dresses. She could cook him meals and exercise with him… well maybe not that far. But she realized how much she loved and needed him when he was shot.

His parents had been unbearable. Sitting in his hospital room silently, as if there was no hope. As if he would never wake up. As if he was already dead. While she would sometimes break down and scream at him to wake up sobbing into his chest.

She had been a wreck. Dr. Bailey had stopped giving her surgeries and that just made it worse.

She stood outside of the door to Preston's room and heard him say " Did the hospital get a new chef while I was gone?". She smiled and walked away.

For the past week she had hated herself for not being there when he most needed her. She had been a coward and let him go through surgery alone. She vowed that he wouldn't go through recovery alone.

She saw Derek in the hall and strode towards him. "Will he be alright? I need to know. I don't want and sugarcoating. I'm a surgoen and I'm realistic and I need to know if he'll be alright."

"He should be fine. We'll see how his arm heals but it turns out I make for an excellent cardio doctor". He smiled smugly and put a hand on her shoulder as he walked past her. She was annoyed at nonchalance but happy with the prognosis and set out on a search for the other interns.

She scoured the hospital in search of them. She walked back past Burke's room and saw that they had all gathered around him. They laughed and she felt horrible. Her eyes met with Preston's through the window and the smile left his face for a moment.

Then she knew. He remembered. He remembered how she had abandoned him after he was shot. She scuttled away to the locker room and sat on the bench momentarily. Then she stood back up and walked to the hospital computers to research rehabilitation exercises.


	3. Chapter 3

Derek Shepherd stood in the middle of the bridge that connected the two wings of the hospital. He loved how he could look out and see all of Seattle spread out before him. At first, he had hated the city. The rain made him depressed and streets felt dreary and dull compared to his old home. He heard her footsteps and turned smiling playfully as Meredith approached him.

"Did you ever go to prom?" she asked dryly.

"... Why?"

"Well, this is something friends do. They ask each other questions and they answer each other's questions"

"Preston said I didn't have friends."

"Well do you?'

"I have you. I didn't go to prom. You know I wasn't always known as Dr. McDreamy"

"I went. With a boy. My mother loathed him. I mean really loathed him. But the more she loathed him the more I loved him. I'll see you at prom Derek."

Meredith smiled at him and then walked away leaving him staring at the city. His eyes followed her pensively.

Meredith ran into Cristina in the locker room and said, "How's Burke?"

"His medical charts look good, BP was normal, AEG showed no abnormalities. He looks good". Christina looked down at her feet.

"You haven't seen him yet, have you?" Meredith asked.

"He doesn't want me to see him weak. It would hurt his manly 'I'm a heart surgeon whose perfect and runs every morning' ego"

"Ahh I see, did he tell you this?"

Cristina sighed. "Look he's mad at me. And yeah he's got good reason to be mad at me... I practically abandoned him after he was shot. But when someones mad at me I can't give in"

"... And say you're sorry"

"I am sorry. Burke knows I'm sorry. I shouldn't have to tell him I'm sorry."

"But you _are_ sorry. Okay. You are a strange girlfriend"

"Yes." Cristina reached into her pocket and pulled out her pager. "I have to go"

Later that night, Preston heard a pager going off and to his surprised realized it was his own pager on his nightstand. Someone must have set it there as he slept. He checked it to see the doctor's name but instead it just read "I'm sorry". He looked out the window to see Cristina standing outside his room. He half smiled at her and nodded, accepting the apology. She smiled and walked inside his night she slept cuddled beside him. They barely spoke but they knew that they would be okay.


End file.
